Right , Wrong or Peaceful ?
Recently, I faced one difficult test. The story goes like this.
In my company, salary includes one component called FBP (Flexible Benefit Plan) in which we need to provide bill receipt to claim the reimbursements. I declared my FBP with telephone bills. After 2 days, my company got converted into public limited. so they asked all to fill FBP in four days to claim the reimbursement. After that, they were not going to process it. Now, before one day of deadline, I got my application back, because I had attached wrong form (my form carried more and all details than the asked form.) I filled that form and sent it back. After four days, it came back again asking to submit original bills ASAP , as receipts were not accepted. The mail came late on friday (6:13 PM to be exact) . I sent bills on monday. Didn't get any reply. So thought everything is fine. Then, on next friday, I got my FBP. Telephone reimbursement ? 0.
Why ? I asked. They said I didn't submit my bills on or before sunday. I said I never knew that sunday was the last date. You asked me to submit it ASAP so I sent it on next working day. They said they could have considered it even on monday. I said I have sent it on monday only. They didn't get any !! Or they lost it ?
I asked them why didn't they asked me to submit bills early ? They asked me why didn't you submit your FBP earlier in the last 4 months ? I asked them to consider it as special case and do the process. They said they can't. It is frozed. What if everybody comes and asks for the same ? I told them they should do this because it was not my fault. I was new to this company and didn't know the process-flow. And there was no help on this either. They said now its almost 5 months. you should have known all these things. Finally, I asked: "do I have any hope of getting it ?" they said: NO.
I was definitely angry. I even became rude with that person. I shouted on him. He was calm. I thought definitely, what was he loosing ? I thought he could have done it if he wanted to. But he didn't. I lost peace of my mind.
Then, after some moments, I thought :" Is it a question of right, wrong or peace ?" I lost my peace believing I was right and other person was wrong. I thought I should not tolerate this injustice. I must act against it. Otherwise I am also taking part in this system. But isn't being peaceful all the time is more than being just (relative) right ? When I lost peace of my mind, the battle outside was already over. Now, it was all inside.
Things happen and are generally out of our control. We can however, control our mind participation. I firmly believe - whatever happens, you can keep your peace of mind. When you loose it, you loose all. In normal circumstances, we easily follow it. But when you think you are right and you have been treated badly, you tend to forget it. The real "TAPA" is to easily pass into such situations.
Then what should be my reward ? First, Be Alert - Be witness - Stay present.
Two, I am not claiming any telephone reimbursement for this year. Well, there is no ill-will or over-reaction. It is only to make me remember how dreadful it is to lose your peace of mind.
So, Right or Wrong ?
Aha, finally it just is.
- Uday
In my company, salary includes one component called FBP (Flexible Benefit Plan) in which we need to provide bill receipt to claim the reimbursements. I declared my FBP with telephone bills. After 2 days, my company got converted into public limited. so they asked all to fill FBP in four days to claim the reimbursement. After that, they were not going to process it. Now, before one day of deadline, I got my application back, because I had attached wrong form (my form carried more and all details than the asked form.) I filled that form and sent it back. After four days, it came back again asking to submit original bills ASAP , as receipts were not accepted. The mail came late on friday (6:13 PM to be exact) . I sent bills on monday. Didn't get any reply. So thought everything is fine. Then, on next friday, I got my FBP. Telephone reimbursement ? 0.
Why ? I asked. They said I didn't submit my bills on or before sunday. I said I never knew that sunday was the last date. You asked me to submit it ASAP so I sent it on next working day. They said they could have considered it even on monday. I said I have sent it on monday only. They didn't get any !! Or they lost it ?
I asked them why didn't they asked me to submit bills early ? They asked me why didn't you submit your FBP earlier in the last 4 months ? I asked them to consider it as special case and do the process. They said they can't. It is frozed. What if everybody comes and asks for the same ? I told them they should do this because it was not my fault. I was new to this company and didn't know the process-flow. And there was no help on this either. They said now its almost 5 months. you should have known all these things. Finally, I asked: "do I have any hope of getting it ?" they said: NO.
I was definitely angry. I even became rude with that person. I shouted on him. He was calm. I thought definitely, what was he loosing ? I thought he could have done it if he wanted to. But he didn't. I lost peace of my mind.
Then, after some moments, I thought :" Is it a question of right, wrong or peace ?" I lost my peace believing I was right and other person was wrong. I thought I should not tolerate this injustice. I must act against it. Otherwise I am also taking part in this system. But isn't being peaceful all the time is more than being just (relative) right ? When I lost peace of my mind, the battle outside was already over. Now, it was all inside.
Things happen and are generally out of our control. We can however, control our mind participation. I firmly believe - whatever happens, you can keep your peace of mind. When you loose it, you loose all. In normal circumstances, we easily follow it. But when you think you are right and you have been treated badly, you tend to forget it. The real "TAPA" is to easily pass into such situations.
Then what should be my reward ? First, Be Alert - Be witness - Stay present.
Two, I am not claiming any telephone reimbursement for this year. Well, there is no ill-will or over-reaction. It is only to make me remember how dreadful it is to lose your peace of mind.
So, Right or Wrong ?
Aha, finally it just is.
- Uday
3 Comments:
The flipside to notice here is if they had accepted your documents after you got angry, would you still be writing this blog the way you have written, would you still be wondering about peace of mind.
Sometimes a situation like this makes us think about peace and personal benefit rather than monetary but if you change a few parameters in the entire situation, you don't know if you would have thought and felt the same.
In your own words "Things are the way they are if you understand(accept) them. Things are the way they are even if you dont understand(accept) them"
Welcome to the world of blogging, hope you dont disappoint like madhav :)
By
Enjoy Life!!, at December 17, 2005 7:54 PM
Someday I really want to learn how to "fight"... I've had experience like yours many-a-times. I've won and lost too, but for inner battle, I've always lost it, but I will not stop fighting. For me, achievement would be that I would win inner battle irrespective of what happened outside, but for that I won't stop fighting. Wow!! What an irony. Fighting for peace :-)
By
Nishit, at December 19, 2005 10:22 AM
A sleeping person is more likely to notice someone pinching him/her rather than vague noises in the room. Situations being perceived as problems indicates sleep........
The victory of the inner battle is to understand that it is pointless and that its the mind fighting from both sides........u r not even there.
if we strip the situation of its specifics, its just a collection of mind impulses...........
if we are not aware of how they operate, then we just give a programmed response (eg. getting angry or irritated if our (mind's) needs are not met)
if we can become aware, its a chance to explore a new dimension........a dimension free of mind's preconditioning.......a real begining of choices.....
so its not so crucial how a situation ends, but its crucial how we are at the end of it.....
By
Anonymous, at December 21, 2005 12:23 PM
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